Happy First Birthday Connor!

Well we made a full year and I finally think we are turning the corner in terms of eating (no jinx, fingers crossed).  it was not an easy year. Connor had 44 doctor appointments (including 3 surgeries and an overnight stay in the hospital). That is almost one a week!!

Connor has been tough this year...but Connor made us crazy in the most pleasant possible way. His demeanor is amazing, always happy, always smiling, always greeting people with a wave, rarely crying, a good sleeper, and the list goes on.

He is starting to really knock down his milestones.  He is done with formula and moving to finger foods, purees, and milk/toddler formula in a sippy cup.  What a big boy!  Jake and I have started calling him “dennis” because he’s becoming quite the little menace around the house – getting into everything, putting everything in his mouth, climbing up on the toilet, playing with cords, stealing his sister’s toys, pulling his sister’s hair, etc.  And to be honest, I love his menacing!  It’s great and makes me giggle as much as it makes me pull out my hair. 

Some Milestones and favorites:

Connor has no tube!  (it’s been in an out a bunch in the last month, but hopefully it’s out for good)

Connor is officially fully mobile.  He’s crawling (mostly at a slow pace because that’s his natural pace) and pulling up on anything that can support him...including Isabel.

He is eating solids – brisket and yogurt seem to be the favorites right now.

He is talking a lot.  Still no real words that we can tell, but I think he says “dada” a lot. 

He is waving hello and goodbye. 

He is pacifier free (except sleeping for another 2 months).   You’re welcome Connor.  Daddy wanted to pull them away cold turkey all at once. 

Favorite book - Pout Pout Fish

Favorite Activity – Beelining to an open cabinet and pulling everything out (just like Isabel used to do with our tuperware drawer)

Typical wake up time – between 630 and 730

Favorite dad time – early mornings while everyone else sleeps in.

Favorite daddy time – Reading books before bed

Least Favorite Activity – Wearing a helmet to go biking (the actual biking is fine)

BMI peak – 83rd percentile (he gained weight and didn’t grow vertically)

Favorite nicknames – Contery (from Isabel), Con Con, Pudge, Dennis

Favorite activity – making eye contact with strangers and then smiling and waving

Favorite way to annoy dad – Rolling over while getting changed. 

Happy Birthday Buddy! Keep Smiling!

Mardi Gras 2020 – The Two Kid Version

Mardi Gras is a bit different for us these days.  Gone are the days of going out until late, sleeping it off, then repeating.  Hello are the days of waking up early, pretending to care about throws, and “family gras”.  To be honest, I couldn’t be happier with the transition.

The first night we tried to take Isabel to the parades this year, we made it one float before Isabel said “its too loud for my ears” and we went home. 

The next night we faired better and made it through a whole parade.  Isabel joyfully danced during the bands and dance troupes and got picked up for each float where she was showed with throws.  Connor had a smile on his face the entire time – he loves people watching and raising his hand to wave (which looks like he’s asking for beads).  Connor is also now old enough to sit on Dad or Daddy’s shoulders, which is much easier to hold (although much worse for catching beads). 

On Family Gras Sunday we had to pick between Barkus (a dog parade) and King Arthur.  We chose King Arthur and clearly made the right choice.  The weather was perfect and although it was during nap time, both kids crushed it.  We came home with 5 people each carrying 2 loot bags – a true mound of goodies when we got home.  At one point, Isabel declared “I only want to go up for the floats with my friends”.  Such a proud moment for Dad.  Such an efficient and mature choice by Isabel that we were more than happy to accommodate.  Connor’s favorite throw was the squeaky hammer and Isabel’s was her new Trumpet.  At one point, we told her that she had to stop playing it because the “bands in the parade didn’t like being up staged”.  She bought it and we had peace and quiet (or only had to deal with the parade and crowd noise).  Isabel even wrote some thank you notes for her throws in pure stream of consciousness dictation by dad. 

During real Mardi Gras weekend, we decided we were only going to do a limited Mardi Gras.  We weren’t going to stress out and go to every parade.  Some days we just went to a park and had our own family day.

Sunday of Mardi Gras weekend, a parade passes less than a block from our house.  So we invited Isabels bff over and some of our adult friends.  We grabbed a “king cake” and had a grand old time.  Isabel was mostly over catching stuff, which was nice.  But, that didn’t stop her from standing on a step ladder and waving at the parades.  And it certainly didn’t stop Aunt Jonnie or Aunt Caryn from catching everything they could to give to the kids.  I managed to get a sunburn stripe down the middle of my chest because I wore a leopard print jacket with no shirt and thought myself immune to the February sun, but other than that...we crushed it. 

Finally, on Mardi Gras day, we broke out the bikes and took an adventure to the parade route more than 4 blocks from our house.  We also convinced Isabel to wear a costume and had great matching family costumes.  Crazy...I know!  It was a HUGE success...literally...Jake and Connor caught a bear (named Arnold) that was 4’ tall and super soft!  We had to take him home on a bike, but it was worth it.   Isabel has mostly stolen Arnold and is sleeping with him in her bed, but Connor could care less since he has beads to play with. 

I’d say Kid-Friendly Mardi Gras was a total success!

Kid-Free Vacation? Yes, please.

Recently, Jake and I went on a kid free vacation (something we’ve committed to doing around once a year) and Nana was kind enough to watch both kids while we were gone.  THANK YOU NANA! 

We had a great time and so did the kids! 

Isabel got to play hooky on Friday and spent the day solo with Nana.  They had a girl’s day and went to the toy store and ate sweets.  Isabel also got to skip nap because “emma and peter were being too loud and didn’t want to nap”.  (Note: Emma is a doll and Peter is her favorite penguin). 

Connor got to read lots of books and use his work bench.  Nana did a great job getting those calories in him as well – lots of yogurt, pouches, and the 2am sleep feeding…

Isabel had a day with Uncle Reed and Uncle Styles at brunch, the children’s museum, and a nap with Boobear

Isabel also had a day with Aunt Jonnie and Uncle Ford at the Aquarium and as a bonus her best friend Jules was there!  She even got to try the Hurricane Simulation Machine that dada never lets her try.

We had lots of fun but we missed those kids and probably talked about them too much while gone. It was nice to be away and the kids probably enjoyed the lack of rules that hanging out with Nana or Aunts & Uncles allows. 

Isabelisms

Isabel is a very good communicator and picks up on what we are saying.  Here are a few things that have made me laugh:

Before bed time as I’m trying to leave the room she asked me “What did I ever do to you?” as if I was punishing her

She calls her back pack a “Pack back”

When we pass a Shell gas station: “Dada, you work there… You help people get gas”.   (thanks a lot, daddy)

Everytime someone says ‘almonds or almond milk’:  “I don’t like almond milk.  Daddy drinks almond milk.  Dada drinks almond milk AND reg-lee-er milk.  I only drink reg-lee-er milk”  (Unfortunately in the last week or so she learned how to properly say regular and not reg-lee-er).

She pronounces Yellow Submarine as “Lellow sum-bar-een”

She struggles with the difference between “her” and “she”. So Isabel says things like “Her was very nice to me.” and “Her is holding the door”.

And one of my favorites, she will randomly ask us “Dada, are you happy?”   She will also ask this question when we are clearly getting mad at her and force us to say that we are indeed happy but we are just momentarily frustrated. 

The Elusive Staycation for Dad!

I had it all planned out.  The week after Christmas both kids had either day care or minicamp and I had vacation!  I had a few things on my to do list after Christmas, but generally was planning on napping, working out, reading my book, and watching the new star wars movie. 

The first morning I get to work taking down the Christmas decorations and around lunch time get a call from Isabel’s school.  She has a fever and isn’t acting like herself.  Oh crap!  I pick her up and head to urgent care and she’s got a confirmed case of the flu.  We rush over to the pharmacy and pick up Tamiflu for the whole family to hopefully stave off full house plague… 

There goes the first half of my peaceful vacation week, but Isabel is so snuggly when she’s sick and we just got Disney+ so it’s not all lost.  The first day, Isabel has a 103 fever and I bring her home and plop her on the couch to watch a movie (Little Mermaid).  I offer her juice and tell her that she has to keep having juice and oranges in order to keep watching (It was a lie…she was going to get to keep watching either way).  I call Jake and he’s able to shuffle his schedule and pick up CPK so I don’t have to bring the plague into his daycare.  (Small victories).  Isabel has almost no energy so we watch another movie (Tangled) and then another movie (Frozen).  That’s 5 hours that she just sat under “her comfy blanket” (Which is my comfy blanket that I got as a birthday present) and stared at the tv.  Poor girl.  Luckily, medicine tastes pretty good and between Tamiflu, Ibuprofen, and Tylenol we get through the day. 

Isabel was struggling to sleep…then daddy to the rescue!  SO. Dang. Cute!

The next day everyone is still plague free (except Isabel).  Fingers crossed…keep taking those meds team! 

Isabel is feeling better, but not great.  I had the day off anyway so we went to get donuts so she’d get some calories.  Then back to the movies (Toy Story 2 – the worst of the Toy Stories).  Finally she starts to get antsy and wants to do something so we go on a tricycle ride around the block – she doesn’t have much energy but at least we moved off the couch!  As day 2 progresses, we are in much better spirits and she’s taking full advantage of ‘the perks of being sick’ – she’s getting juice and candy and donuts and chocolate covered almonds.  Meanwhile, I’m spraying down the whole house with antiseptic spray and using the ‘sanitize’ setting on the washing machine on anything she touches. 

Day 3 begins…The plague still hasn’t spread AND Isabel appears to be out of the woods.  She’ll go back to school on Thursday and I’ll get 2 days of staycation.  We get ready to take a family trip to the park and then disaster strikes…Connor gets a fever!  NOOOO!!!  I think to myself “Maybe he’s just warm and a nap/Tylenol will solve our problems”.  I take Iz to the park, Jake stays home with CPK since he’s the doctor and I think he’s better capable of curing Connor.  Well… he failed (just kidding).  In the afternoon, Connor had a fever and was eating less and generally cranky (which is the opposite of his typical demeanor).  Oh poo! 

It’s not fair to send questionable-flu ridden Connor to daycare with other little babies so I stay home with Connor.  He’s not really into movies so we play with toys, facetime, and experiment with Instagram filters.  In case you were wondering – His harry potter house is Ravenclaw, his harry potter character was Minerva, and his Disney character was Mufasa.  I’m hitting him with alternating doses of Tylenol and ibuprofen and taking his temperature every hour or so…there’s still a chance I can get a 1 day staycation.  Come on Connor!  His temps are manageable so we try to skip a dose and his temp spikes back up around 100.  Wah wah.  Dad and Connor get a second play day on Friday.  It’s great to spend time together…but my poor staycation plans.  Guess I’ll just return that library book and watch Star wars in 2020 sometime… 

In the end, neither Jake nor I got the flu but it wasn’t for lack of effort on our kids part.  Kids love to snuggle when sick, kids love to sneeze and cough directly into their parent’s mouths when sick, and kids hate to wash hands when sick. 

The week’s scorecard:

Kids sick – 100%

Parents sick - 0%

Days of restful vacation – 0

Shows watched – 6.5 Movies (Frozen 3 times and half of Brave) +  about 8 episodes of Daniel Tiger

Loads of laundry – 10

Cans of spray Lysol used – 2

True friendship means having confidence in your friends.

Later Tube!  (Hopefully forever)

17 days ago we learned that Connor has a true friend at school.  A friend that will break the rules and do what’s best for him even if he gets in trouble.  In this particular instance, Connor’s friend had so much confidence in Connor’s ability to eat that he or she (Connor won’t give up his friend’s identity) pulled out his feeding tube at school. 

And…that was 17 days ago!  Connor is still growing and continues to get better at eating solid(ish) foods.  He loves yogurt, pureed fruits and veggies, shredded cheese, bananas, baby cookies, and STICKS OF BUTTER!  Yes, you read that right…Jake gave Connor a stick of butter as a snack (It has 100 calories per tablespoon after all). 

Isabel also loves feeding Connor.  She isn’t quite as skillful as Jake or me but Connor absolutely loves it as she jams that spoon into his mouth or spills the food into his bib.  He adores his sister and smiles ear to ear as she attempts to feed him through his 1.5-toothed grin.  Videos available on demand…(This blog doesn’t let me add them.) 

I say he’s doing great…but he’s still not a huge fan of his bottle.  At least during the day.  At night…he’s a pro!  Unlike most kids, Connor has no problems going to bed hungry… Then Jake and I sneak in and “dream feed” him twice over the course of the night.  Right now, he’s still getting over 50% of his formula ounces while asleep.  The unanimous vote among Kleinmahons is that eating and growing children overrule well rested parents (at least temporarily). 

Let’s keep that tube out!! Go CPK!

Editor’s note: The last few days have been rough and CPK is a little sick. The fate of the tube is up in the air…

The joys of a mobile child…

Watch out for Connor!  He is officially crawling, army crawling, and spinning around the house! 

Someone hasn’t cleaned up that puff from a day ago or that scrap of paper? Well…Now it’s Connor’s and he has it in his mouth. 

You want to put Connor down on the carpet and run upstairs to grab something?  Well…now it’s a fun game of hide and seek when you get back.  Yay! Is he in a different room? Is he crawling under the coffee table?  Is he right where you put him just smiling when you return?

Isabel left her toy out? Well…Now Connor is chewing on it. 

This last one is especially problematic for Isabel.  She has liked CPK up until this point because he was mostly stationary and didn’t mess with her stuff or demand too much attention.  Now everything has changed.  He is moving to and picking up the toys he wants to play with and they aren’t always his toys.

Fortunately, Isabel is smart and understands that Connor can choke on “small toys” and she does a pretty good job of both cleaning them up and announcing that she’s cleaning them up to earn our praise. 

I am trying to teach Isabel to “trade”. If she wants to take away the toy Connor is playing with then she has to give him another toy as a trade.  Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.  Most of the time she gives him something that he clearly doesn’t want. 

Christmas and Hanukkah and Grandparents! Oh My!

Happy Holiday Recap

Isabel is finally old enough to understand Christmas and it’s great on so many fronts.  First, it’s just a really happy and fun time of year.  Second, it means that Gramma and Padre come to visit for Christmas (previously the other grandkids got priority).  Third, I get to do all the fun Santa stuff and Isabel likes the holiday spirit. 

In our 24-day Holiday advent calendar we got to eat special snacks (candy canes, chocolate santas, Chocolate gelt, etc).  We got to go to special places (The Roosevelt, a Pelicans game, etc), and we got to do fun activities (pick out & decorate a christmas tree, write letters to Santa, Paint and play dreidel, make cookies, get donuts with padre, and make ginger bread houses).

Near the start of the month, I had Isabel dictate a letter to Santa about what she wanted for Christmas and why she deserved it.  She didn’t really understand why we were doing it, but I pressed on and told her that Santa wouldn’t know what she wanted unless she told him. She asked for “More Daniel Tiger toys like O and katarina and Margaret and the teacher and daniels mom and daniels dad and miss Elena”.  She also asked for a “car like woody has” (referring to the remote control car that Woody drives in Toy Story).    She then talked about how she got connor’s pacifier and helped connor as the ways she was good (That letter went straight into the keepsake box). Gramma and Padre amped up the Santa message and sent an online video that the kids could watch.  It had pictures of the kids, of the house, said their names and city so Isabel was truly impressed. 

This year, Hanukkah and Christmas overlapped so it was a present bonanza!  Each night of Hanukkah, Jake did the prayers in Hebrew and by the end Isabel would help light the candles and knew some of the words!  CPK also had the Hanukkah spirit…

Isabel had a part in the Hanukkah concert at School this year!  It was adorable.  We practiced singing her assigned song (Hanukkah Gelt) for weeks beforehand.  Isabel was ready to go!  Then on the day of the performance, Isabel totally blanked and forgot she was supposed to sing for the first half of the song.  Instead she just stared out at the audience in wonder and smiled.  Fortunately, she didn’t seem to mind. Also…Turns out…we were practicing her song to a completely different melody than it was supposed to be (solid parenting).

Apparently, Padre has a magical sleepy spell for Connor and he fell asleep where ever they were when Padre was in charge.  I think I found a retirement calling…

Isabel had lots of playtime with Gramma and got to show off all of her toys!

Finally it was Christmas Eve!  Isabel was excited, we were excited, and we made sure Isabel knew that if she wasn’t asleep when Santa came then he would just go to the neighbors and skip our house.  Unsurprisingly, it didn’t work…Isabel was up about 2 hours past her bedtime playing in bed with Peter and singing random made up songs. 

On Christmas Morning, Isabel was very impressed with all the presents under the tree.   She helped Connor open his and opened hers with glee.  It was fun to watch.  She couldn’t believe that Santa was able to get just what she wanted!  Connor got a work bench so he could help Daddy and learn his tool names – wrench, hammer, screw driver, vice, miter saw, and Jimmy the Drill.  Overall a complete success.  To add to the excitement, Uncle Styles, Uncle Reed, Aunt Jonnie, and Uncle Ford came over for dinner and to play with Isabel’s new toys and snuggle with Connor.

Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah indeed!! 

Oh Connor...So Cute...So Dang Exhausting.

Connor is great. I’ll start with that. This kid is happy. This kid is cute. This kid is a pleasure to be around. He makes me smile and greets me with a smile when i see him. He’s super chill. He’s a huge football fan and loves watching football with daddy - college or pro. To prove how adorable he is, here’s a picture…

But…WHY WON’T HE EAT?!?!?!

Even with his chill demeanor, he requires A LOT of attention. He’s got PT through the hospital once a month to help us teach him. That means he has ‘at home PT’ every night with dad or daddy in addition to his feeding training with straws, sippy cups, and various solids. He’s got twice per week early steps therapy for eating and PT at school. He’s got frequent doctor’s visits to make sure he’s progressing. We have to make ‘high calorie’ foods, purees, and solids for school. We have to make sure we tube feed him before going to bed and set an alarm for his mid-night feed to supplement the depressingly small amounts of formula he drinks at night.

He’s had his tube for nearly 3 months so he’s growing and meeting development milestones. We’ve tried 4 or 5 times to remove the tube and he quickly proves that he won’t eat enough to continue growing. At this point, we don’t even have an estimate on when he’ll get to ditch the tube, which is very disheartening to both Jake and I.

Occasionally, when he refuses bottles, purees, or solids the frustration hits us like a ton of bricks. It really dampens our mood and can bring a dark cloud in the house. There are times when we take our frustrations out on each other or get short with Isabel. Sometimes it makes us decline or cancel plans with our friends in hopes of getting a few extra calories in CPK.

Luckily for us, both our kids do an excellent job of cheering us up with their personalities and smiles when we let them. As isabel would say “I love my flamily.”

Gimel Gimel Gimel!

Earlier this week, our holiday activity with Isabel was to paint and play dreidel. We bought a kit and set up a painting zone and Isabel set out to work making one dreidel for her and one for her brother. At first, each side had its own color but those slowly combined into a yellowish-blueish green combination.

After they dried out, Jake got some quarters (my plan was to use chocolate gelt, but she didn’t finish her dinner so we didn’t get sweets) and we started playing dreidel. Isabel started to understand the game and made sure everyone put in money for each round. She thought it was funny when someone spun a ‘nun’. “That means you don’t get to do anything…my turn”.

As bedtime approached, I ran out of money and Jake said the game was over. This is when my favorite part happened.

Jake gave Isabel the option of 1) Putting the money in her piggy bank, 2) Putting the money in her tzedakah box (a box where you collect money to give to charity), or 3) Splitting the money between the two places.

To our amazement and joy, she picked putting it all in her Tzedakah box. I stopped her and made sure she knew what that meant and she said “that’s money for people who don’t have much money”. I said she was correct and quickly turned away so she didn’t see me fighting back my happy tears (I’m going to be a mess at all of her functions – graduations, weddings, etc etc). I was so proud!! So. Dang. Proud!

Gingerbread Houses & Festive Glasses

As part of the buildup towards Christmas and Hanukkah (the 22nd this year), Jake and I put together an advent calendar of holiday activities. Each day she opens a box that has something written on a piece of paper (since Isabel can’t read yet, this allows me to lie in case the weather isn’t cooperating). Things range from special snacks (candy canes), to activities (paint dreidels or thank you cards), to adventures (pelicans games or caroling in Jackson square).

This past weekend, our holiday activity was to select festive glasses or headbands (supplied by Aunt Caryn) and to make and decorate a gingerbread house (supplied by Aunt Jonnie).

There was some debate as to whether we should pre-glue the gingerbread house using a hot glue gun. The trepidation came from our last experience building a gingerbread house together circa 2012 when we got “6th runner up” and had to use plastic cups to support our house.

Upon Jake’s insistence, we opted to use frosting to hold our house together. Jake then proceeded to help by taking a nap on the nearby couch. Thankfully Caryn is a good engineer and was able to get us a sturdy foundation to work with.

Isabel helped make the frosting in our mixer and Connor tried to help Aunt Caryn drink her wine.

Isabel loved decorating the gingerbread house and loved ‘making sure the candy wasn’t poison’ even more. She’d sample one piece for every 2 or 3 pieces she put on the house. Overall a pretty good ratio. I think she has a future as a union boss. Connor did a great job supervising and distracting the workers so he has a future as a corporate manager. 😉

On a scale of 1-10 it was a 2 for messiness (very impressive) and 9.5 for enjoyment (also very impressive). Isabel now comes home from school, doesn’t say anything, pulls up a chair to the counter, climbs up, and starts pulling candy off the house and eating it until Jake or I say to stop. Total win for her.

When we finished, I asked to get a picture with all of us and the house to which Isabel quickly answered “no. Let’s not do that”. So unfortunately, our devoted fans don’t get to see that… but here are two adorable CPK pics instead.

2 kids, 1 parent, 1 plane trip

A bit ago, I made a bold choice. I was going to fly home to Michigan with both kids and only myself. I had a few extra vacation days and once I landed Gramma and Padre would be there to help out. The biggest stress was the flight itself.

At this age, Isabel and Connor are actually very good flyers. Isabel happily watches Daniel Tiger, Tumbleleaf, or a movie on an iPad with headphones and Connor mostly sits in his carseat and sleeps. So I had some degree of confidence I could do this.

I checked everything I could the morning of the flight so i’d have as many free hands as possible to deal with the kids. Smart!

The flight is going splendid and then Isabel has to go potty. Oh crap…do i try to take both kids? Do I leave CPK in the seat alone? (What if someone kidnaps him??) Do I tell Isabel that she just has to hold it? Fortunately, I talked about this with Jake beforehand. His advice was to have someone sitting nearby watch Connor while I took Isabel to the bathroom. Easy.

Isabel: Dadda, i have to go potty.

Me: Great. Okay. let’s get unbuckled. (Makes eye contact with older woman on the aisle seat across from us). Hey. Watch this kid please. He doesn’t move too much so it should be easy. thanks.

Old lady: What?

Me: Please just watch him. His name is Connor

Old Lady: Ummm…okay. (Clearly disapproving of my parenting style)

When we return…

Old Lady: His mouth thing fell out. (she means pacifier)

Me: Great. Thanks.

Timing wise, it’s time for connor to eat. Lucky for me, he just got his NG tube a few weeks prior so he doesn’t even have to get out of his car seat. He takes about 1-2 ounces by mouth and then i give him the rest by tube. I am crushing parenting. We are almost to Michigan.

Ding. The final descent. Dad Life! Nailing it! Go Tom! Go Kleinmahons!

Connor starts fussing so i take him out of his seat and sit him in my lap, which is allowed because he’s less then 2 years old. No problem, I’ll just hold him in my lap for the rest of the flight. Still winning.

Ding. Seat belts on for the remainder of the flight. We are gonna make it…”this was so easy” i stupidly think to myself.

That’s when connor starts to cough. Then a wet sounding cough, which gives me about 10 seconds to prepare. I grab for his bib and burp cloth. Being overly organized I had velcroed them onto the car seat so i wouldn’t lose them. Valuable seconds tick away as I try to free them using one hand while holding connor with the other. tick tock tick tock. More coughing from Connor. Here it comes, he’s gonna spit up. I manage to free the burp cloth just in time and “catch” his spit up. Now i’m holding connor in my lap with one hand and a rag with a pool of formula in the other. Slowly it seeps through the fabric and starts dripping on my leg. Great. I have no hands free to open the motion sickness bag and no adults nearby to help. Drip. Drip. Drip. I shift around and put connor back into his carseat (with minimal spillage) and get the motion sickness bag open. I stuff the completely soaked burp cloth inside and assess the situation…

Isabel is still happily watching a movie, Connor is smiling at me, my right leg is very wet and i smell like a protein shake. two out of three aint bad. To make it all better, we are in our final descent so i can’t even get up to clean off…I get to ride out the last 10 minutes or so in this amazing state.

Thanksfully, Gramma and Padre are at the airport to save the day. I wash my hands and clean off my pants and it’s straight to GGBs for a visit.

Happy 8 Month Birthday Connor

Today marks Connor’s 8 month birthday - 32 weeks. Today also marks Connor’s 30th official doctor’s appointment in New Orleans. There have been at a couple “i’ll just fit you in since you’re already here” appointments. And he’s had 3 surgeries and 2 overnights in the hospital. That’s a lot of medical care for someone who’s less than a year old.

Although Connor is the cause of many of my newly sprouted grey hairs, I love him very very much. He is such a happy kid and such a good snuggler. Every morning he wakes up and gives a HUGE smile to whoever he sees first. He giggles, smiles, and reaches for Isabel’s hair every time she is nearby (Isabel likes the first 2, but could do without the hair pulls). Everyone says Connor is a little Tom jr, because of his dashing good looks, his chill demeanor, and his ability to stay on the lower 10% of the weight growth chart.

I love that kiddo!

Milestones & favorites:

Connor is now able to sit up by himself without pillows (although sometimes he gets distracted and falls over) (note: I realize he’s got pillow support in this picture, but he’s so dang cute)

Connor is able to stand for a little bit with the support of his hands on the couch, but when he tries to show off and stand without hand support he topples over.

Connor is able to “eat” solids. His favorite foods are Bambas and banana pancakes.

Connor’s default chill level: 9

Connor’s favorite Physical Therapist is Isabel, second place is daddy, and i’m in third. We practice rolling over, grabbing our toes, and getting in crawling position.

Connor’s favorite book is Dino Tails! The tails are apparently very tasty.

Connor’s favorite podcast is ‘History of Westeros’ which he listens to most days on his drive to pick up Isabel with Dad

Connor’s favorite benefit of being a second child is the screen time

Connor’s favorite activities are watching isabel do stuff, splashing in the bathtub or pool, and smiling when he makes eye contact

Connor’s favorite toy - Krakow the Dragon, wooden shakey thing, or plastic turtle necklace

Connor’s favorite thing to say: ahhh Ahhh AHHHHH

Connor’s attitude toward halloween - apathetic

Parents Never Fail to Disappoint Their Kids

No matter how great you are as a parent, you’re always going to disappoint your kids at some point.  This past Sunday I learned that loud and clear. 

Isabel asked for music on our way to her best friend’s birthday party.  I normally turn the radio off and force her to talk to me, but I thought I’d be nice.  So I put on Adele through Amazon Music.  For the next few songs I proceed to tell Isabel how great she sings, how pretty she is, and how she sings with such emotion.  As we are getting close to the party, Isabel asks me where Adele lives.  I say I’m not sure…and that’s when I have to break her little heart. 

Isabel: You like Adele, dadda.

Me: Yes, I do.  She’s a very good singer and her songs are very powerful.

Isabel: Her is your friend. Where is Adele’s house? 

Me: Honestly, Isabel, I don’t know.  England maybe?

Isabel: When are we going to her house?

Me: Well, I don’t think Adele has ever invited us over to play.  So it might be a while. 

Isabel: Why? 

Me: Well, I’m not THAT good of friends with Adele.  But I think she’s a very good singer.

Isabel: (starting to get sad)  But I want to go to her house.

Me: Isabel, if she invites us over, I will buy a plane ticket to get us to wherever she is.  But for now let’s go to Jules’ birthday party.

Isabel: Her will be there?  At jules house?

Me: Ummm…Maybe Adele will be there.  I don’t know the full invite list. 

Spoiler: Adele was not at Jules’ birthday party.  Without knowing it, Adele is being a real jerk… ;)

Let's focus on the positives

Having a child who is chronically sick induces sky-high levels of anxiety, sadness, and fear. One never knows what is going to come next. You hang on to every comment, look at every weight, check every ounce that he drinks or doesn’t drink. For those of you who haven’t been following along, Connor has struggled with failure to thrive for close to 5 months now. He has made great gains, literally… he has gained a bunch of weight. But, he’s also had quite a few obstacles in his way. Most recently, he decided (he didn’t really decide but I’m going to say that he did) that he was going to puke every time his reflux medicine went near his mouth or pretty much whenever he got fed. That’s no bueno for a dude who has bad reflux and needs to gain weight. Today, his daycare teachers let us know that he really doesn’t roll over anymore. The pediatrician red flags in me went flying high and the sirens started sounding. I was so upset by this news, that instead of staying at work and writing my notes for the day, I rushed home so I could spend time with him. This decision was exactly what I needed.

When I got home, Tom was pulling in the driveway with our two wonderful children. Izzy came up to me and gave me a real big hug and told me that her and dada were going to Whole Foods and asked if I wanted to come. Like I needed her invitation to go to Whole Foods. I declined and let her and dada go to Whole Foods as a dada daughter trip and I stayed with Connor. As soon as I picked him up he had a huge smile on his face. He began clawing for my face grabbing and touching every inch of it (when I’m sick in a few days you’ll know why). We went inside and I just held him. He bounced up and down on my lap while looking out the window, cooing. We talked about all the things he saw, from the hot tub, to the wind chime, to the birds, bird feeder, my face, the pool, the fence, you name it we talked about it. He was getting antsy so I decided to give him a bottle, not by his tube, but by mouth. He gulped the bottle down like he had never eaten before in his life. Next we did some Development by Daddy Bootcamp. He hated it. But I viewed it as a person trying to get into shape yelling at their trainer. Like in the hurts so good type of way. We only had one minor accident (see video on heartdoctordaddyshark insta) when he was trying to show me how good he was at standing without hands. He’s not good at all.

The time I spent with Connor this afternoon reminded me to focus on the positives. Yes, he has issues. Despite how many people tell me how good he looks. He’s delayed, possibly has some regression, although I kinda think he just doesn’t like to roll over, and sucks at eating. But, more importantly he’s an incredibly sweet and loving kid who adores his family, especially his sister. He’s happy and by all measures of a 7 month old has a great quality of life. He brings us so much happiness. Who knows what the future will hold for him, what his next medical test will show, what hurdle he will get past next. I’m going to keep reminding myself to focus on the positive.

Hugs

Jake Plus Tom

Leaving sucks…but it makes coming home that much sweeter

This week I had to go to Houston for work.  It stinks to leave the kids and Jake.  Isabel gets sad and asks “dada, you’re coming back?”  At which point, I say that I’ll always come back.  Then we sing the Daniel tiger song (Is there any topic that Daniel hasn’t addressed??).

This particular trip I was able to swap my flight home for an earlier one!  This let me get home right as Isabel was going to bed.  Jake must have told her I’d be here soon because she was on high alert as I was headed home in my Uber.  I know this because I was watching her and daddy read books before bed through our security camera. 

She heard something outside, assumed it was me and popped up on the bed to look out her window…who cares if she was naked… Too cute!

When I actually did make it home, she joyously said “dada!  You came back!”  It warms my heart every time.  Even though it was past her normal bed time daddy, dad, and izzy stayed up and talked about things that made us happy.  She said ‘her flamily’  (typo is intentional as that’s how she says it).  It melts me heart and makes me so so so happy. 

The Incredible Journey of Peter Penguin

As many of our readers know, Isabel is quite fond of her stuffed penguin, Peter.  She takes Peter everywhere – to school each day, on planes, to the beach, to the grocery store, and on and on.  Peter even rides in the car to places where he’s not allowed.  Isabel will ask “peter can go in the car, but NOT in the restaurant? He can stay in the car.”  She loves that little bird.  She loves him so much that despite the fact that he’s a limited edition and quite expensive, we bought 2 additional Peters in case one got lost or needed ‘penguin surgery’. 

Our ‘spare Peter’ plan was foiled shortly after moving to New Orleans.  In Denver we had a ‘home Peter’ and a ‘school peter’ and the two Peters never met.  However, we failed to explain this to her school in New Orleans so about a week after moving, Isabel realized there were two Peters, which she quickly named “Peter” and “Other Peter.”  She can get them correctly identified near 100% of the time.  I’ve come to realize that Peter has a ‘special wing’ and Other Peter has a wonky eye. 

She loves Peter so much that during her first session of camp at the JCC, they had ‘key notes’ about each child written on the white board so the teachers would remember.  Things like ‘has a peanut allergy’ or ‘picked up by XYZ on Wednesdays’.  Isabel’s note simply said “Isabel – Has a penguin”.

She loves Peter so much that he is in her school picture.  Bravo Camera Man, Bravo!

She loves Peter so much that her cousins bought her an Owl Chair…that kind of looked like a penguin.  It was quickly designated as a penguin and named ‘Giant Peter.’ It is a favorite sitting location to watch tv or watch connor on the floor.  

She loves Peter so much that her classmate – who is a real human being named Peter – is called “Peter Pumpkin Eater.”  Cross my heart.  When telling a story about human Peter, she will call him Peter Pumpkin Eater so we know who she’s talking about. 

She loves Peter so much that Peter got potty trained on the same weekend.

Anyway…you get it.  This is one very loved, very cherished, very indispensable stuffed penguin. 

Then tragedy strikes!  Sometime between picking Isabel up from her classroom and going inside the house, Peter has gone missing!  Oh Crap!  This is terrible.  But… I saw Peter when picking her up and we didn’t make any stops on the way home, so I’m confident that Peter is at school and we will see him in the morning.  When I tell Isabel that Peter wanted to sleep at school for one night, she’s a little sad but able to get through it. 

The next morning at school (you guessed it), Peter is not in her cubby as expected.  (Panic strikes me! WhereTF is Peter!).  ‘No Problem,’ I say to Isabel more calmly than I feel, ‘Peter is probably in another kids cubby’.  We check every other cubby – no luck.  (WHERE IS PETER!)  ‘Isabel, I said cubby but I meant that peter is probably in the pillow corner’.  Surprise surprise…he’s not there.  Slowly and methodically we search everywhere in her class and in the neighboring class.  Still no Peter.  (I’m freaking out…as calmly as possible). 

Isabel is being very helpful and seems to be treating it as if I know where he is and I’m just playing ‘search and find’ like we do at home.  She’s super calm and fun and helpful. (Confession: I don’t know where he is.) 

Isabel and I walk to each of the three check-in desks at school and see if anyone turned in a stuffed penguin at the Lost and found.  No luck, no luck, no luck. 

We ask her teachers – all of them.  No luck

We ask the director of the program – no luck.  She suggests a few things that we’ve already tried. 

Now, I’m in full (calm) panic mode.  I tell Isabel that Peter is probably hiding at home in one of our bags and she should stay at school and I’ll continue the search at home.  She starts crying.  Thankfully, I don’t start crying, but rather assure her that we’ll find Peter.  She suggests I also check at work…I tell her I’ll check there too.

I drive straight home and search every bag we touched.  I search the car for the 10th time.  Still no Peter! Jake and I are texting back and forth trying to figure out where he is and what to do next.  We are texting her teacher to see if anyone found him.  We are both feeling some combination of guilt, anxiety, and loss.  It feels like we’ve lost her best friend. 

Oddly enough, at one point in the day, Isabel told her teacher that “its okay if Peter doesn’t come back.  We will find a new Peter”.  Either she is more mature than her parents or she doesn’t realize that forever means forever. 

Jake suggests we make “Missing” posters like Peter is a lost dog.  I laugh, then realize it’s a great idea. 

I make a quick poster, print out 20 copies.  I post it on Instagram and tag her school.  They reach out to me and SEND AN ALL STAFF EMAIL with the missing poster.  That’s right.  Isabel is so sweet and they know how much she loves Peter…enough that it warrants an ALL STAFF email at the JCC.  Literally, when I enter the building to pick her up in the afternoon people that I’ve never talked to before are asking about Peter.  It’s crazy.  A true APB for a stuffed animal (I assume this means they like Izzy at the J). 

We get some special tape from the director and start putting up our signs.  Isabel is very calm and very helpful.  She keeps sticking the posters up and pointing to new areas where we should hang them up.  I love her.  It was really sad, but also really cute. 

We head off to gymnastics with a hole where Peter should be, but…on the drive we get a FaceTime call from Daddy.  Confused, I answer it at a stop light and what do I see??  PETER!!  He made his way home.  I showed Isabel the phone and she erupts with happiness!  It was amazing to witness.  She had come to terms with losing him (faster than dad and daddy) and when that changes she couldn’t help but burst out in a happy scream!  It filled my heart with happiness. 

Turns out, Peter had an unsanctioned sleepover with the neighbors dog.  Isabel must have dropped him getting out of the car or when saying hi to the neighbors and Cozy must have scooped him up and put him with his other toys.  We told Isabel and now when you ask about Peter she said that “he had a sleepover at Cozy’s house”.  When we got home, she ran up into the house and gave him a huge hug and raised him up in celebration.

Not willing to go through this emotional roller coaster again, Daddy signed Peter up for an elective surgery.  He had a Tile Tracking Device implanted this evening so we’d know where he was from now on. 

Love you Peter!

Isabel Turns 3? Let’s have 3 parties!

We didn’t plan to have 3 parties, but it just kind of happened that way.  Isabel is amazing at 3 but we can see there is trouble in our future.  She already has her dad’s wrapped around her finger. 

Her actual birthday was the same day Connor was admitted to the hospital.  This was an added stressor for jake and I until Family Life stepped in to save the day.  They decorated Connor’s room and we had a pizza party right there in the hospital. 

The next night, Connor was home but not quite ready to be out and about in the world.  So I stayed home with him as Jake took the birthday girl to bowling.  Unbeknownst to us, this would turn into party number 2 for Isabel.  Our team got her presents and candy.  They had ‘happy Birthday Isabel’ scrolling across the TV screens.  Isabel had a great time!  Thanks team! 

And finally, we actually planned a party for Sunday.  When took her downstairs in the morning she saw all the balloons and loved them!  She pulled down the Daniel Tiger balloon and made him wave and talked to him and carried him around until we had to go.  We invited her whole class at school (18 kids) and some of the kids from her last year’s class that she still had connections with.  It was a lot of kids!  We went to a place in Metairie (luv 2 play) that had a mini arcade as well as slides, crawling tubes, ball guns, and a ball pit.  It was designed for kids around her age, which allowed the parents to talk to each other and not worry about the kiddos too much.  They had a blast…Isabel was absolutely exhausted when we finally took her home. 

Episode IV: A New Hope - A CPK Update

There is true power in hope. Hope allows people to understand than while things may not be perfect (or even good) right now, that they will get better. Hope reduces stress and increases resiliency.

On Wednesday of this week, I felt hopeless. I was watching my little Connor slowly lose weight, yet still refuse to eat no matter what we tried. It seem like everytime we tried something new, it failed. I was a mental wreck and down in the dumps emotionally. We admitted him to the hospital (again) to figure out what was wrong.

Flash forward to Friday morning. I feel hopeful. We are home from the hospital as of last night and we have a plan! The plan makes sense to me and we will execute it. Connor will gain weight and will get back to being that happy, healthy boy that we have come to know and love. (It also helps that I got a full night’s sleep for the first time in a long time on Wednesday night - never under estimate the power of a good night’s sleep).

The key test we did this time was a swallow study. Connor ate some barium-laced solution and the doctors watch how the fluids move inside his body as he swallows using a live X-ray feed. This showed that with our current bottles, he was getting the fluids too quickly and some of the fluid was pooling on top of the check valve going into his airway. This makes him cough, gag, and generally feel like he’s drowning. Given those sensations when eating, he learned to eat the absolute minimum to get by. That’s why he’s not eating enough to grow.

So the planned solution is to dial back on the bottle flow rate to something he can control better and (the ‘fun’ part) to have an NG tube that will allow dad and daddy to send formula calories directly to his belly overnight, bypassing his normal swallowing path, to allow him to grow while he figures out that eating isn’t going to hurt him anymore. You can see this beautiful new accessory in the pictures below. Jake says he has to be an elephant for halloween now.

Last night was our first try and it went “okay”. First, I sat down to feed him and spilled the bottle all over the chair I was sitting on. Then after refilling and feeding him, Connor decided to spit lots of it back up so i got to change sheets and do laundry at 4am. But…even given those set backs, we got some calories into this child! Grow, Connor! Grow!

Unfortunately for us, the radiation during the swallow test did not turn him into Spider Man as far as we can tell.

Here we Go Again...

Well…we are back at the the hospital for Connor. Connor is the calmest, happiest, problem child I’ve ever seen. I love him to the moon and back and we just need him to grow!! He has mostly stopped drinking his formula, he is struggling with solids (which is age appropriate), and he’s back below the 3rd percentile for weight. We feel like we’ve tried everything and we’ve lost the gains we had post surgery. They are going to run a bunch of tests and see if they can find any problems that are solvable. Maybe he is aspirating when he eats? Maybe he has oral aversion? Maybe we’ll find something else…

Jake and I are at our wits end with this kid. He’s not really letting us sleep at night (we’ve started alternating which one of us wear ear plugs at night) so that makes each day a bit of a struggle. We are trying to do our best to continue normal life with Isabel (she turns 3 today - subject to a more upbeat post), with each other, with our social lives, and with work but it’s hard to put on a happy face. I apologize if i’ve missed a phone call or failed to return a text. I literally just cried during the whole drive to the hospital after dropping off Isabel at school. It’s tough, but we have a great team of doctor’s that will get to the bottom of it.

We will get to celebrate our amazing daughter’s 3rd birthday tonight with cake and presents, but unfortunately, the setting with be the pediatric floor and not a fun restaurant.